My vision is bad and I’m way drunk so I’m glad you pointed that out because now I see it.

Laughing my goddamn ass off A+

This should have more stars. If you can make me laugh when it’s my fifth hangover of the week you deserve stars.

You’re obviously on drugs then okay

I went over to my neighbors house to borrow a bong and unbeknownst to me he was hosting a rave (we’re in our late 20s I didn’t know raves were for people our age but I guess they are) and he was wearing footie pajamas with a hood that had bear ears.

I’m trying to bring glitter back. I tell myself it’s okay because I’m a stripper.

My bum ex who just dumped me via text message (WHO LIVED WITH ME btw yes waited until I left for a doctor’s appointment to leave and dump me over text) Voted for Gary Johnson and I didn’t get to vote because my mom got very, very sick the night before election day and I was stuck at the hospital.