This makes it so much harder for men of a certain age to convey their unquestionable heterosexual nature by leaning out of their seats at an improbable angle and leering at the retreating ass of a stewardess, then looking proudly at men sitting near them. What next? Baggy pants?

They will run off the unused testosterone of the emasculated bros inside.

It’s a match made in a cruel heaven

It’s not a cuff, it’s a medical brace from too much masturbating.

It’s the poor models I feel sorry for, enduring those unblinking, virginal stares.

That one will need a high security bathtub, rather than a cell.

More than one person has noted that, then received a scar in the pattern of a Maglite torch being applied to the head at great speed, but it’s for sure better than being shot...

Aw shit, I was hoping one of the io9 brains had invented a time machine and gone back and eradicated the fucker

See? You just want to stroke it!

I’m sending her a duck pick. She looks like the smart kind of person who would appreciate a duck’s attitude.

A woman needs a man like a fish needs another fish on a bike to keep bumping into it

I refuse to believe Andy Cohen was not involved.

87,000 people - some of them perhaps even real - are liking this in all its versatile awfulness. I have lived too long.

I’m not appreciated in my own time....

His ear still thinks it’s 2010

If it makes the maroon who’s been driving slowly round the same few blocks in Brooklyn in his Escalade for the past hour, go home, that’ll be nice.

This is tasteless and I care for it a lot. My infantile friends saw that image and now they’re all screaming in unison. Thanks, Deadspin.

He’s one to watch. No, really.

We need to market one that looks like this. Ok, the occasional kid will get a shock, but really, it’s cute and self-explanatory