It needs to be able to spray generously and randomly in people’s faces as they stray too close...

I wonder if perhaps I should have said “self-importance” but that would have sounded more unkind that I intended, really.

“Me! The new fragrance by Charles Sheen....” we could design a nice bottle but it would smell like condensed bodily fluids nonetheless....

If anybody can fight this thing and discover a cure, it’s me. I will exhaust every resource available to me. I will sit with every expert. I will move forward until something’s revealed.

Well, exactly ....

It’s almost like our young musicians are not choosing to be less greedy than our government-approved financial institutions or defense industries.

[SPOILER: They’re still making new episodes of ‘The Big Bang Theory.’]

I’m just relieved this is all over, and we once more have a clean, ethical financial sector.

On which, I am not sure that Andy Cohen is not the worst* person in the world as far as presenting/creating a negative image of women is concerned.

To break it down, the house itself costs $679, while the remainder is paying off interest on the marble and gilt.

Your well-put comment has made me feel bad for her. Which is good. Because I can pretend I am a better person than I am, for a moment. But then someone else will come along and say something unkind and I will laugh and we’re back to square one. Really, we have it tougher than Teresa, when you think about it.

This would be hilarious if they didn’t have kids. Aw fukkit, it’s still hilarious. But I feel bad for the kids. But it’s still hilarious. But not totally. But mostly.

I just can’t do the “Ariana Grande” and “bone” in the same sentence thing. I know intellectually she ISN’T 12 years old, but ...

Rising gorge levels are my main worry now.

He has at the same time a brass neck and no neck at all.

“To be with Bear in the woods, it doesn’t get any better than that.”

So I am gathering. I feel very old.

Staggering: I am off to ask the kids in the local playpark how highly they rate being in an MTV special. Or maybe not.

Kids still think MTV’s cool???

“Aw shit, I’m a metaphor”