There's a tailor in Canada also cheering at this footage, sure in the knowledge that he has the market in blue-shirts-with-expended-waists-and-reinforced-buttons sewn up.

Can I recommend he is given Toca Hair Salon?

And Sony's PR department freezes in horror.

Football Player In Sense of Perspective Shocker

And other neighbors applied the same principle and removed the lady on the basis of "too much crazy".

That was such a nice surprise: I was afeart he might do a Weasley.

Wait, Lena Dunham is on the cover of Vogue? Jez needs to take a stance on this, and stat.

The wife says she barricaded that same basement door shut once because she claimed she heard the clicking of a cigarette lighter down below.

Wimps. Real journos would have been out there on the streets writing stories on the back of cigarette packets, not squealing with outrage about getting extra emails.

This is the perfect flashback in a war movie, with guys in a foxhole asking the grenade-throwing hero "where the HELL did you learn to pitch so accurately?"

"If you examine the photo above not very closely at all, you'll notice that Bristol isn't like many European cities, without very many grand cathedrals and whatnot. That's because the Nazis absolutely destroyed them"

Don't you mess with me, running headlines like that....

"Finally, a Game About Having Sex With Your Friends"

Reading this I am ... oh. For the first time in my life, I feel absolutely nothing. A vacuum from which the slightest trace of giving-a-damn has been removed. Is this how death feels?

Yes, yes, but who stole the unicorn horn? And did it give them magical powers?

" Wise men came from the East to visit Jesus, bearing gifts of gold, frankincense and purr"

Vicious Riot

But is irony not just the smell of blood?

A compound fracture: they possibly left the head on to muffle the bloodcurdling screams.

She's going to be rocking that moronface look no matter what color paint she slaps on it.