Here's another 28 words wasted on you: go away, troll. Thank God folks like you are dying off and will pass with the dismal end of the Express.

Are you not familiar with it, or do you know and like it? Serious question. It has served as a mouthpiece for casual bigotry, homophobia, racism and sexism for decades.

It's a vile relic of just about every sort of casual bigotry you can gather in the one newspaper. Thankfully it's on the way out.

And the forecast for today is a general depression, with some lack of surprise and later a confirmation of ageism and shitiness covering much of the world.

Very true: perhaps it was Prince Edward in a corgi outfit.

That would tie in with persistent reports that a corgi was wedged under the brake pedal ...

Was there an option for an Elfin Bob hair-style?

Can they do screens that show the person opposite you not as you are, but as you would like to be? Perhaps a set of buttons from "TV commercial for skincare over-exposed" mode to "a photo of the young James Mason"?

AND they're 20 years late to the idea. AND they're just brutal assholes. AND AND they're just not funny!

Anything that's "mostly" or even "a little bit" water can only be a good addition the the Gowanus Canal.

You have given me my million-dollar idea: a nationwide chain of GripGyms, where people will stand around anxiously just gripping things and waiting for random scary shit to happen like the floor to fall away or a tornado-force wind machine to kick in. Also they can carry shopping home for people, who will ALSO pay me.

On the plus side, they have developed a totally incomprehensible manner of communication that will form the basis of unbreakable military code.