He walked up to me one time. He was all like, hey, what's Ursine, and we both laughed. That was the day I learned he is a bigger bear than I.

Great, now someone has to explain to Stephenie Meyer what "erudite" means.

There she was, all pale and lifeless. She had everything I needed. I knew then that I had to make her my girlfriend. All of a sudden, something weird happened to my wiener.

Holy shit, she's getting more mileage out of a gimmick than Cookie_Monster, Reposted Ax7F, and the Taco Bell Bell combined.

Hey, this bit is nothing to sniff at.

I imagine that'd result in a lot of monk-y business!

Bearly.

We're all thinking it, so I'll just say it: AGFA sounds like pig latin for a swear.

(our hearts)

And while we have your attention, Internet, check out Roommates!

I need your third of the rent, NYC.

Young White People, sponsored by Taco Bell.

Soundtrack by, you guessed it.

Skinny, white, and unappealing?

"I don't like things that scream at me," says baby.

*bear fart*

We've never had a repeat customer!

I wanted to say something, but didn't want to be a nagger.

ABC looked at its programming and decided it lacked

[eats black lipstick]