My reaction would be very similar...maybe a little more crying and out of sync bopping.

I'm pretty indifferent to my words. I'm pretty impressed with your ability to contort them into something completely different and then to shame me for your words.

True story: I once knew a girl who left her contacts in for a full year. When she finally took them out, she had to wear sunglasses around the clock and keep her eyes slitted because the oxygen hurt her eyes.

Oops.

Random thoughts that popped to mind while reading this:

Holy shit, Bongo still exists?

I was scrolling through this article knowing I'd find a post like this, then BLAMMO, my powers of prophesy are affirmed! I am an internet guru.

So.... I went to see the Spice Girls on their reunion tour a few years ago. Posh sang exactly 0% of the time, sashayed 50% of the time, and phoned in group choreography the other 50% of the time.

I feel precisely the opposite.

When all I saw was the .gif, I thought he was dancing to Hava Nagila.

Meh, the only difference between Miley and myself at her age is that she's much more productive than I was.

Every summer, I spend a week grading AP exams. AP graders are fucking weirdos. I have a few other friends I go with, and we clock in/out then spend the rest of our time drinking.

Yes, but is he for or against women's rights?

I genuinely don't get fur coats. They're uniformly hideous and make everyone look about 50lbs heavier than they really are. Is that a thing? Maybe that's a thing.

And you'd be obliged if you asked for a female fitter. The idea isn't to force people into uncomfortable situations, but not to aggressively discriminate to avoid a situation in which someone might have to say, "I'd be more comfortable with a woman." But this is all rather besides the point as the person in question…

Pre-surgery (but apparently post at-home hair treatments).

Technically, the only plastic surgery they've had is the $27,000 breast implants. The rest is (an insane amount of) lip injections, (just insane) eyebrow tattoos and spa treatments.

The dressing room area is a particularly private and vulnerable place for many women and girls, so it's a protected area.

PLEASE STOP IMBEDDING VIDEO THAT AUTOPLAYS!