When did he start calling himself Papa? He decided to name himself after his pizza restaurant? That's creepy as fuck.

Just watch the movie. It's even more faster!

People still use their cells for talking? What is this, 2009?

I recently bought a new wallet from Bellroy. It's thin and looks cool. Problem solved. Go to there. bellroy.com probably.

Haha just like how Deadspin's new site makes us wish the Internet had never been invented!

You could at least put the sidebar back, and the links at the bottom to the other sites and articles.

I hate this new site. Make it stop.

Aquafresh is the best! It's THREE toothpastes in one! Plus, instead of those gross tubes that lay around your bathroom sink and start to fester around the rim, Aquafresh comes in awesome pumps. Sleek and clean, baby!

Wow this sucks. It's like they took the side panel with the previews and blew it up so that's the whole site now. Brilliant.

I want the two minutes back it took me to read through this stupid story. How about a story about an internet "columnist" who has an agenda and decides another columnist is stupid for writing a story with his own agenda?

I feel like I have better things to do than these.

Haha! Unless you're a hot chick, they all hate you.

Everyone at work hates you and your positive attitude.

Always get a good laugh when Lifehacker imagines what it's like to have a real job and work in a real office, and then offers absurd advice to unsuspecting college grads. Yes, entry-level employees, go ahead and try to change the corporate culture. Good luck!

What the fuck is Parmigiano-Reggiano? Is that parmesan cheese? That's number 3? No fucking way. It's practically just a garnish. The writer here has no clue what good cheese is

Verducci is a bullshit hack.

Nope, Connor was still a whiny, annoying bitch.

Major respect for Andy Katz? wtf? Figures that's how deadspin would spin this.

I have to listen to these nobodies talk for 10 minutes just to find out the answer? Why can't you just write the answer in your story? Lazy bitch.

I don't understand any of this. Not even the title. Scale of quality vis-a-vis its espn competitor? Excelsior graphics wizards? What the fuck are you talking about?