Ooh, Target’s.

“And, uhh...that is a HENNESSYBOTTLE.”

Ha! I was thinking like Omar from The Wire getting randomly taken down by a kid in a bodega. The problem with my analogy is that Omar was cool. Trump on the other hand...

You can’t handle La Croix but you can drink burp-tasting Kombucha?! Let me in on your secrets!

Do y’all think that some of these criticisms of the movie would bother younger viewers?

“It looks like it smells like Hotmail accounts. “ LOL 

I saw Coming to America when I was 9. It was my first R-rated movie and I was just excited to hear bad words. A lot of the more mature themes went over my head because I was just too young to get it.

True! I always tell people that I haven’t been to a bar I didn’t REALLY want to go to since my kid was born.

At first I was like “Damn Damon, stop humble bragging,” then I realized I was scared to share a link to a new piece of my writing on Facebook today because people are on there talking about 100 other way more important things. I feel you.

This is too true! I was *just* at the gym and a retiree-aged white guy walked up to the urinal buck-ass naked and took a piss. Seeing it happen almost gave me a staph infection thru my shoes.

I showered, because I was going to work right after.

Uuuuuuugh. My sister-in-law had a similar situation in NoVa a few years back. A month+ after her car got stolen, the cops called her in the middle of the night like COME GET YOUR CAR OUTTA IMPOUND NOW OR IT’S GONNA COST YA. She gets the car, and someone had been using the backseat as a toilet for the last few weeks.…

Man, I *knew* Tipsy would be on this list.

Ooh and Mos Def on Dexter—I think he even dropped some wisdom from his deathbed