I don’t know that Weiner is the winner in Arkansas. We have Bald Knob which sounds way more awful.

Do girls really go for guys like this? It seems like it’s what I would say I wanted when I was 16 and obsessed with John Mayer (Not my finest time). Realistically, this would get old. Put the damn guitar down and take out the trash while I cook dinner. Then you’re a nice guy.

Ladybugs are assholes. When it’s warm in the winter they will swarm my house, find their way in, and never leave. Seriously, they will just hang out like they live here. Don’t kill them because they stink. Don’t touch them because those assholes will bite you.