I’m like Netflix, Chill, Netflix.

Yeah, anyone who argues that much over that definition is pulling a Bill Clinton.

I had that man this summer. I couldn’t deal with him as a person anymore, but as a sex partner I will miss him until the day I die.

“Sex” is easy to get.

I dunno...when I am blowing my boyfriend, it seems a lot longer than 6 minutes.....

A preview

Scene- My bedroom, 2 AM, after a bottle and a half of wine.
Players (In a theatre sense, not like, a gross way to say ‘lovers’ or whatever)- My husband and also my me.

We were young, early 20’s, shitty on wine, having laugh sex, where we sort of clumsily bounced around the bedroom, laughing and not totally putting all…

I loled like a grade-schooler

I mean, I’m into rope play so take your pick of weird muscle strains?

Would wear this skirt(?) FOREVER.

TLDR

I’m glad that it ended before it went FULL this:

Sorry your heart is too cold and dead to appreciate the cuteness of kitties’ jelly bean toes.

I'm sorry you live with so little joy.

Or for elderly cats....I put a little stepstool next to my bed to make it easier for my zaftig and geriatric cat to hop up.

Also for aging pets. Says the woman who just put a step stool next to her bed for her 14-year-old tubby tabby.

I liked the first couple of seasons of Nip/Tuck though. It definitely went off the rails but the first two or three seasons were genuinely entertaining television.

The doll recordings still work. Beware. They are like the sing-song dreams of haunted dead children.

Math class is tough!!!

Open the play room door, Barbie!

“I can’t do that Krirsten Kale Nevaeh. I know you and Brygytte Whole Fyoods were going to cut my hair and swap my head with Skipper’s”

Well, we’ll just go through the servants entrance.

“I think you’ll find that difficult without your Kate Spade sparkle flats, Krirsten.”