There’s a first time for everything.

Trump said that the United States will have vaccines for every single American by April 2021.

Your headline is actually impossible unless people who didn’t buy this crap got screwed too. 

The first amendment prevents the government from restricting (most kinds of) speech, not private fascist corporations. Maybe it’s you who doesn’t understand the First Amendment, but of course you’ve got a lot of company.

If it’s any consolation, cops don’t fare very well in prison. But if you read carefully, it says he faces a maximum of five years in prison. You know that the minimum is no time in prison, right?

“Hello, it’s me... Ivanka.”

Well, here’s another installment of Adventures of the Inbred Imbeciles circa 2020.

It’s always great to hear words of wisdom from the Master Race.

Darwin discredited again.

It’s a drop in the bucket trough.

In other words, you want to get poisoned without having to shell out a lot of money to corporate faux-food.

Replace “influencer” with “imbecile” then these stories would be so much more coherent.

Fuck if the IOC is gonna leave all that money on the table if there’s no grift-o-lympics. 

“Vote for me before I abuse again!”

“Justice” Thomas votes for Trump and Anita Hill votes for Biden. The ultimate irony!

There will come a time when it will be apparent that popping off one at a time like this simply doesn’t scale, even over hundreds of police departments. There’s a name for that time, it’s called “The 2nd term.”

So now Pelosi’s hairdressers have something in common with Ralph Nader, Jill Stein, the Russians, and the electoral college.

The Aristocrat.

If not, they’ll have to find somebody else to give this year’s Medal of Valor to.