What kind of barbarian leaves his Mercedes stroller outside? This baby needs to be loving put to bed every night in its own hyperbaric chamber to preserve the delicate molecules holding its pretension field in place.

Well, you’ll be happy to learn then that more than half the bottled water in the country is municipal tap water.

That’s kind of the problem. We’re really bad at recycling plastic water bottles.

Jesus, and people wonder why the environment is going to hell. But hey, you just keep polluting the shit out of stuff for no good reason. I mean, if a vague distaste for tap water is enough to prevent you from doing a simple thing to make even a minor contribution, I’m guessing we aren’t going to get a lot of help…

Well, in addition to no longer making $125K, the cops want her.

Right, clearly no one in America should drink tap water because Flint,

Oh wait, you do realize that a huge amount of bottled water in America just comes from municipal tap water right? Like, half of it? If tap water is that dangerous in America, you should stop drinking the bottled stuff too.

You can’t have the good table because frankly they don’t like you much. They figure you’re the sort of person who is just going to have the water, ask for extra free bread, and spend the evening bad mouthing their siblings.

Normally I’d have no sympathy, but I do wonder what it means when it says that they “were sent” all those bottles.   

Wow, apparently I’ve been doing it wrong all these years.

Sure, obviously don’t drink the local water if it isn’t safe, but I’m guessing that a ‘tech, travel and alcohol’ blogger for Lifehacker isn’t spending a lot of time in the darkest parts of the third world.

She blogs about tech and alcohol for Lifehacker. I sincerely doubt she’s spending a lot of time in refugee camps in Zaire. Obviously if you’re in some country where the local water isn’t safe, you shouldn’t drink it Capt Obvious.

“I’d love to care about the environment, but really, you can’t expect me to drink North American tap water! I mean, what if it isn’t cool enough?”

after I immediately drink all the free water bottles (flight dehydration is real!)

If nothing else convinces you that college coaches are scumbags, the way some of them fuck up kids lives by rescinding scholarship offers or denying permission to transfer ought to do the trick.

Ya, I have almost 1000 hours in 7 Days to Die which has been out since 2013 and which the developers still insist is in “Alpha”. That word doesn’t mean what they think it does.

Ya, god, you wouldn’t want to spend 10 minutes watching that video they linked to that fills you in on the back story. Thank the lord you were spared that.

In fairness, how was she supposed to know? I mean, it’s not like the media shows this same dumbass story every year or anything, explaining why it’s a bad thing.

Oh wait...

I charge less than “Spirit” does to be your life coach.

Only one thing to do. Bone Saw Match! One man enters, many pieces leave.

I’m pretty sure all those pimply faced guys spent a whole 2 minutes pulling on some baggy jeans and a mostly clean hoody before bitching at those women about not spending enough time on their appearance.