“We’re losing money on this deal.”

“That sounds like a pretty dumb way to do business, but I appreciate it.”

The part that always blows me away on these stories is not the outrageous hours, it’s the shitty pay. If you’re working 18 hours a day, 6-7 days a week to make mid 5 figures, you might want to re-evaluate some life choices.

I’m going to need that dog to pee in, on, and around this plastic cup.

I read on the internet that a round planet can cause autism.

In fairness, the league doesn’t sanction bloody fistfights with the ref.

“I wasn’t doing nothing” is tied with “I don’t know why I was arrested” for the most common thing I heard every time I had to talk to someone in jail in New Orleans during Mardi Gras.

If you don’t understand the difference between reporting on a public figure’s medical condition and printing a copy of their medical records, I think you’re the one who is nonsensical.

Why is that one guy crapping out a dick and balls?

How exactly is the ownership structured such that the people who own 80% of the team are powerless here?

Of course, the fact that most athletes were privileged white guys for most of US history may also have contributed to their lack of political activism.

Necrobarista - combining the worst traits of necrophiliacs and people who think to themselves, “That hot barista is totally into me. I’d nail her.”

You also can’t tell if someone has a concussion or not by talking to them on the sidelines for one play. That’s kind of the point.

They also make essentially the same thing with a remote, which I agree makes a lot more sense.

They also make essentially the same thing with a remote, which I agree makes a lot more sense.

So, what plugins are we talking about? I think it would be cool to play around with them :)

So clearly, unless a painter creates a painting by dabbing individual dots onto the canvas using a toothpick, you think of their work as being crappy because they used a tool.

Brilliant logic there.

Ya, that graphic is years out of date.

Hey now, the proud history of the 10th Division includes parachuting into Arnhem... in 1952.

“The car enthusiast and Jalopnik reader fears that Volkswagen might drag this out, like it has with so many other upset VW owners. “I’ve waited long enough already,” he told me tonight.”

I totally understand wanting to make some sort of statement, but if you decide to do this and publicize it online before your…

This is nonsense. Are you seriously suggesting that schools should treat every incident of misconduct, from rape to flipping the bird, the same?

It’s not a binary equation. It’s not either kick everyone off the team for any infraction or don’t kick anyone off ever. There is plenty of room for common sense in…

If I represented Camshaft Newton, he’d get paid a lot more in those pornos.