I’m reading this comment and literally eating cake at my desk. Sorry, not sorry.

So what you are saying is...

Ahem, you mentioned Cake and then posted an article around lunchtime. I’m sitting here eating my brown bag meal from home wishing it was cake. I hate you.

As a penis owner, I fail to understand how one can actually pleasure oneself using a piece of cheap old corroded metal covered in road grime and carbon deposits without reducing one’s gentleman sausage to a lacerated, profusely bleeding mess. While maintaining an erection.

Lucky for him it’s not an STI.

You’ve completely misused this.

There is nothing smug about telling an asshole not to drive in the bike lane.

Fixed it, your welcome.

Zipper merging is great for low to medium speeds. Like when two lanes merge on an on-ramp. THe issue with freeway lane closures is people use every single last inch of the ending lane to finally put a blinker on and move over. On a 70mph freeway, to keep traffic moving at 70 means we’d need to start this maneuver way…

Really, this is why I didn’t get one.

It’s Friday. My girlfriend is out of town for the weekend. I have the place to myself, and I’m going to try and make this. I already have a bagel cookbook, so I can get the dough/boiling part down. I will let you all know how it turns out. If I never post again, well... someone else will need to pick up the Torch (no…

Mad props.

Back in my days as a cops reporter in the late ‘90s, I once covered a chop shop bust. One of the cars they’d stolen was a late-model S-10 pickup, which they’d pulled the body and bed off of and replaced them with the body and bed of a ‘50s Chevy pickup. It actually looked really good. Not that I’m condoning chop shops…

Captained-out

In case these are unclear to the car noob:

Go figure.

I don’t think they’d mind as long as they get to be loaded too.

Maybe I’m just jealous I didn’t come up with such utter brilliance.

Public opinion is running against David Tracy on this. I like it too.
Offroading is play. Be as playful as you want.

You know what? I'm totally fine with bumpers caving in and getting scratched. Bumpers shouldn't be one big plastic piece though - if they were three pieces and EASILY and readily replaceable (with pre-painted pieces) for the cost of manufacture/distribution, it'd be fine and great.