Also, you’re funnier than Seth Rogan. I know I don’t know you, but 99% of people are funnier.

This is what happens when you bend over backwards to protect rapists.

Glad to see you’re getting a full 8 hours of sleep a night. Carry on in good health!

meryl streep is in a river wild, not glenn close.

How the fuck would you know this?

Well it’s the Mets so I’m sure everything will work out for the best.

Make sure you bring your Riot Juice!

I can’t imagine the dingleberries that get on that thing...

I think she might have shared HIM.

I’m onboard the Fuck the Cubs train, with a 1st class ticket, but here’s my quandry. As shitty as Cubs fan is, Cleveland fan is worse, right? Especially if they win, it’ll be non-stop jibber jabbering about how Cleveland isn’t a dumpster fire anymore, it’s the new Titletown. I can’t take that. I want the Cubs to win…

First thing I noticed when I saw it live, then I said “What the fuck is that shit?”

I’m good with just “fuck the Cubs”

Correction my good man, at Sturgis it’s pronounced, “My Old Lady”.

And now I’m curious.

Yeah, maybe twenty years ago.

Hey, there was a time I so woulda.

The worst part is it’s not even face paint.

That’s the most awful thing I’ve ever heard. You should be ashamed of yourself. I mean seriously, how can you call that thing a beard.

I’ll take Images I Did Not Want In My Head for $800, Alex.

When I feel myself it usually ends with a dream shake.