Ha! Sort of actually I’ve written two novels.

I’m going to the liquor store right now, to take care of last nights escapades. I have a feeling Cubs fans had it worse than me however.

Because it will. God damn it.

This is all under the premise they were “lovable.” Their W flag is even obnoxious.

I once chased a bear off with a golf cart and bottle rockets. That’s as close as I will come.

I wonder how many Cubs fans physically shit themselves after the tying home run in the ninth.

I’m taking a day to indulge the happiness of Cubs fans then I’m going back to cheering against them.

What I learned is I know way too many people from Chicago. My face book feed was a god damn joke. And I’m happy for like one of them and that’s about it.

I’m not nearly drunk enough for this and I’m really drunk. It’s like watching your wife get double teamed in slow motion, then your dog get put down. Happiness of this magnitude is too much to take.

Fuck the Cubs and Cubs fans so hard. With that said huge congrats.

Don’t go away. I’m not sure what went down, but just don’t or I will kick you in the shin.

I have ripped off my shirt for a woman. I inspired no one besides the police. And maybe people with an Alf fetish.

I have an ex that I would be ok with being killed in a tragic accident and anything that makes her happy makes me unhappy. She is a huge Cubs fan who grew up in Wrigleyville four blocks from the stadium.

Well Gristle should go nowhere. He is a valued commenter on many levels. I get bitched out on a weekly basis. Woke up to 42 notifications today over parking attendants.

I think the Cubs are going to pull this off and I’m not happy about it. But it’ll be cool to watch.

This is a note to all MLB teams. Former Rockies hitters are okay to sign, pitchers not so much.

Wait what happened?

Kurkjan said something I’m trying to debunk, but there is a good chance this is most important baseball game I have seen in my lifetime. A 68 or 108 year old streak ends tonight and Francona or Epstein may go down as the best of their respective jobs. Kluber has a chance to be one of the greatest World Series…

Yes that’s true unless you live in a city that time caps the meters specifically to fuck you over.

I had an eight-pint win last night. Then I got yelled at by strangers about my parking skills.