Give me a f**cking break.

In the Johnny Carson biography written by his lawyer (can’t remember the name of author or title; I’ve only read excerpts) there’s a story about Johnny and Ed McMahon walking into a restaurant in LA. They’d already had a few, and Johnny Carson apparently was a very nasty drunk. There in the restaurant was his…

Megyn Kelly revealed she and Kathie Lee have a “standing lunch” on Tuesdays.

I think that’s what they did to Meredith Viera’s show, and Harry Connick’s. Sometimes if I get up to go to BR I’ll turn tv on and I’ve seen both of these at 3 am.

I think Tanya Zuckerbod is my new Stripper name.

I thought the person was a great-great-great-grandparent of Dr. Zoidberg!

Megyn Kelly Today Today: ‘Do You Believe In Ghosts?’

It’s amazing how many people just watch whatever channel is on. For instance, when the Tonght Show’s rating went down, so do the Today Show’s. When NBC put Leno on prime time, his ratings really killed the late local news on NBC affiliates. I don’t doubt she is torpedoing Hoda and Kathie Lee.

Tanya Zuckerbot sounds like a character from my horribly-written distopian future fan-fic

• Bobby Finger began wondering how much money he would pay to be seated beside them at lunch.

• Megyn Kelly said her dietician would get mad at hear for eating that.

So like 3am?

Megyn Today is like watching the ghost of Megyn’s career haunt our morning television schedule until it moves onto the gloomy realm of Hades, so of course I believe in ghosts.

Buckle your damn helmet Megyn, the kids are watching.

Right after we tell Megyn that you have to secure a helmet for it to do any good.

I need for Kate McKinnon to do Megyn. It could be like when Dan Ackroyd did Julia Child.

The only ghosts I believe in are the ones I can bust.

My mom tells my NBC is looking to ditch her since her ratings aren’t just bad, they’re affecting the shows after her. At the very least change her timeslot to help the other shows.

• The Adventure Capitalists told Megyn Kelly to try some weird skateboard/tricycle hybrid.

“Adventure Capitalists”? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck you.