“You want cheery? I’ve got cheery.”

Dude, cougars can be shameless. My wife and I were at a show recently and this suburban cougar on the stairs started flirting with me (I was on the aisle) and touching me. “OMG, I’m SOO drunk”. My wife started to get up and possibly rip her throat out, but she got pulled away by one of her twins. One nice thing about…

A Boeing engineer? Bill Nye, who was a Boeing engineer? A rando at a rural airfield? Someone standing next to a plane? An actual plane?

This brain-dead idiot can’t get kicked off the Tee-Vee soon enough. She’s going to pivot to QVC any minute now.

That’s creepy. Was she cute? How old? I imagine she’s capable of all sorts of nefarious deeds, (blackmail and extortion).

Do you have to day-drink to watch then write these recaps? I’m exhausted just reading part of them.

And now I’m picturing Megyn Kelly eating the head of Matt Lauer mid-coitus.

“I knew there’s be gold in them thar hills.”

Megyn Kelly asked, “Have you ever been attacked by a wild cougar...?”

Tomorrow she’ll have the cougar on and ask if watching Animal Planet is why it became wild.

No, but I’ve been stalked by one. Last month actually.

I noticed that. And the other day they brought her out to give some sort of legal advice. I’m not sure what it was because I turn whenever she shows up on Today.

The story of how the Federation found its moral center is supposed to be rooted in the post-war 21st century and the era immediately following First Contact... a moral center that we found with a great deal of help from the Vulcans.

Every morning I wake up, secure in the knowledge that the nadir of America reached yesterday has continued its unrelenting descent into further depths decay and madness. Let Megyn Kelly Today be my inarguable proof.

Megyn Kelly said she wanted to discuss this airplane incident a little more, and said, “Who better to ask than Matt Lauer?”

So I have NBC back in my Uverse line up and noticed on Today they drug Megyn out in the 8 am hour I guess to try to drum up some business for the shit show.

She so clearly seem the public as an opinion machine where if you put enough “said the right thing” tokens into it, the public will like you. Right now her options are set to liberal and she’s trying to fill it with tokens and it just looks pathetic.

Matt and Megyn’s banter is the type of combative flirting I imagine praying mantises engage in. I’d give the edge to Matt in this round.

• Megyn Kelly spoke with Hoda and Kathie Lee who bragged that Rita Wilson, Octavia Spencer, and Kelly Clarkson would be on their show.

First of all, PUPPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.