We're going to lose control of Congress completely. Obama's approval rating is in the toilet.

Ok, Ms. Kitchens. Quick jezzie poll. How many of you have been roofied? I know I have! Glad to know that it just doesn't really happen, tho.

It's worth noting that the person she called at CDC might have just been some schmuck who wasn't a doctor or nurse and was basically answering questions off of an FAQ. The CDC is still at fault for not having a special call-in number for the nurses (or at least an order to direct their calls to someone with more…

You know, it's not ebola that's ultimately going to kill us all. It's a lack of a common fucking sense.

If you don't swear at your pets at home, they're just going to learn those words on the street.

Also, any guy who enjoys blowjobs and uses "dick-sucking" as an insult is a fucking hypocrite.

What's wrong with being a dick-sucking whore?

Talk about contributing in a meaningful way to the world!

This is truly awesome, but somehow it makes me all the more disappointed by her inability to get those pliers off the goddamn floor.

You know what's worse? A penis that is too big.

I think that as women we're expected to be emotionally dependent and nurturing. We're supposed to be "above" judging men's bodies. If we don't enthusiastically accept tiny dicks, we're being bad women.

About how women with small tits are a non-issue and can still find people who want to have sex with them regardless? That sounds fine.

Why is this not worthy of a Jezebel post? It's about how gender stereotypes don't actually matter to regular people. That's pretty Jezebel-worthy.

tits are a bit different. Not vital to the sex process. I could see how a story about having sex with a woman who had a cavernous vagina might be interesting, but I see your point.

Right? As a pediatrician, my least favorite is when they claim that list includes being a "nurse" or a "pediatrician." No, you're not. It took us a lot of time and money and licensing to get those degrees. Putting a bandaid on a cut =/= health professional. STFU.

I am beyond sick and tired of hearing SAHMs complain about their long resume of "chef, maid, chauffeur and bookkeeper all rolled into one!"

Timothy Olyphant as Seth Bullock in Deadwood... be still my beating heart.

I hoped when you said Brad Pitt's guns, it was going to be an image of some well-sculpted arm musculature. Oh well.

Really super excited for the trolls that plan on showing up and spouting nonsense about how she's "making this up" and "playing the victim".

Dear Single Men of (Insert Any City Here),

What if you looked at the naked pictures, but didn't masturbate to them?