Thank you, thank you. It's been a good month for some true classics, but don't forget our contemporary additions to the Bosom Hall of Fame! Our new release of Inside Llewyn Davis features Carey Mulligan in a couple delightful sweaters.

True, but plenty of filmmakers and actresses found ways to push against the Code. Screwball comedy is all about independent females going about things their own way and one-upping men (even if yes, they often end up married in the end).

I don't think the studios were so much progressive toward gender as they were invested in their female stars. It was in their best financial interests to groom stars and find them appropriate material, which in turn meant finding a wider variety of material for a wider variety of stars. At the time, producers would…

Dear god man, why would you blame breasts for anything?

Ah yes, I remember that dress in that picture, with its wonderful spirals directing your attention to the most critical areas. And you really have to appreciate the films that take care to show you the troubles of getting in and out of those dresses. Kudos to Sturges for keeping the camera up front on Colbert during…

I weep. My tears are a fountain in which she dances, forever captured on celluloid. How glad am I to have had the privilege of carefully cleaning and restoring each glorious frame of this goddess.

Just wait till you guys see what that lady with guns strapped to her is indicating. It's going to be my top release of the year!

I don't generally handle our Japanese releases (classic Japanese cinema rarely gives me much to work with—the pair of Oshimas were the last ones I had much say in), so I'm sorry if you think this edition's a bit lacking. It's a great movie though, even if it is a little lacking in substantial female roles.

Indeed they will. Proud to have invested in them early.

The Criterion Collection and Janus Films have been around longer than those HBO upstarts. Frankly, I find the HBO CEO of Tits's approach a bit exploitative and demeaning—a little too, dare I say it, television. We deal in the firm yet supple celluloid magic of beauty.

Criterion's release of Tiny Furniture has been controversial, but I stand firmly behind it. Dunham is one of this generation's most important voices, and while she may not display the most obvious set of talents in the collection, she has been a most welcome addition.

I will have you know that I have been deeply invested in many of the Criterion Collection's finest editions: 8 1/2, Persona, Amarcord, The Red Shoes, The 400 Blows, In the Realm of the Senses, and In the Mood for Love. I was most instrumental in the recent release of La Dolce Vita.

Yes, 8 1/2 was quite the labor of love—lots of careful touching up. The Saraghina scenes in particular required a great deal of attention during the restoration.

While I would love to get my hands on more Cardinale, there's currently nothing in the pipeline. In the meantime, might I point you to her wonderful work the The Leopard and 8 1/2, which I find to be much better uses of her talents than the early Big Deal on Madonna Street. A fine, funny film, but it squandered…

The Criterion Collection and its ongoing quest to present the most important breasts that classic and contemporary cinema has to offer are not gimmicks.

Please do not demean the wonders of the female anatomy with your crude vocabulary. We at the Criterion Collection are proud to bring you the finest in classic and contemporary breasts and bosoms, not the undersides of barnyard animals.