thank you. That image, so casually described, has made up for the rest of my day.

Gasp! This needs more stars.

OMG. "It was a conversation starter". I just laughed so hard.

That's my least favorite Community episode.

Look, aren't we jumping to conclusions here? Isn't it possible that some considerate student wanted to give some squirrels a nice rope swing?

A fetus always trumps a woman. Especially if that woman is brown.

30 goddamned years? Someone could've murdered HER and gotten less jail time than that!

? But this is about a woman that thinks she is owed being eaten out. There was no argument that guys are entitled to being blown. That she wants it only one way is her prerogative. But it also reflects that she's just a shitty person.

I don't know why anyone would be obligated to do anything in the bedroom. Penises of the world, no one owes you a blow job, no matter how swell you think you are.

this is one I actually used. I was five years old, playing with my cousins at my Babcia's house. She was making dinner and was a terrible cook. When she called us in for dinner, I told her I couldn't eat because I was sick. She asked what was wrong, and I told her it was prostate cancer.

"Iraq has weapons of mass destruction."

A kid who was late to my class once said that he was helping someone out of a burning building. I laughed and told him to take a seat. You have to begrudgingly admire someone with the chutzpah to try to pull off such a dumb and blatantly made up excuse.

Pretty much any combinations of words coming out of the talking hole of a guy trying to get me to fuck him without a condom.

I had a roommate who was supposed to go to a going away party for someone she didn't particularly give a shit about, so the excuse she gave? "I have to wash my sneakers."

They were in a crowded restaurant, she wasn't in danger. They didn't tie her to the chair or threaten her, she could have easily walked out. It's gross you sympathize with someone who conned 4 or more people into a relationship.

I think you're being incredibly unfair to greenpig. 1) They were in a public place, I doubt they were going to kill her in a restaurant. 2) She was going to bail and suffer nothing for her malicious actions towards these multiple men. She deserves to be made a little uncomfortable for stringing along these four men…

My (now ex) fiancé and I had a somewhat long-distance relationship. I worked an a city 3 hours from the small town we lived in, so I would stay with friends or my parents while I worked my 4 days on, and go home on my days off. Things were never "good" when I was at home, but anyone can tolerate each other for 4-5…

His dick isn't missing. That's a phallusy,

I have a son with autism. Believe me, I've wondered why they can chip my cats & dog but can't place a chip between my kid's shoulders too. It seems drastic until the kid decides to elope from school one day and you're on the phone with 911 etc crying because no one can find the little monster.

Fun fact: Anybody who writes or utters the phrase "I want the purity of my daughters protected" in regards to a bra commercial is going to be a grandparent at 35.