I'm sorry about your father *hug*

You be quiet with your brilliant, calorie-filled ideas now.

Oh Jesus, that made me laugh like crazy and yet it's also an image I anticipate will show up in a nightmare soon.

I had a delicious ice cream flavor yesterday, named Totes McGoats. Goat cheese and lemon curd. MmmmMmmmmmm

And if I’m not ungreyed after I photoshopped an ibex for you people I just give the fuck up.

All I gots to say about this is that these photos make me feel pretty good ‘bout myself.

Hey, miss! Did you fell of this cliff? Do you need some help?

When I grow up, I’m gonna cheat on ALL my wives!

I don’t care how much $$$$$ you have. If Scott Disick is your idol, even if you are 10, you seriously need to look back at your life and see where you fucked everything up.

I feel like a lot of politicians could do with 200ccs of throbbing gay dick honestly.

Don’t you think there is something really bizarre about how insistent the judge is? I almost wonder if she has a relationship with him....it’s too intense and personal.

I’m a family law attorney, and my office has been up in arms about this all week.

Dear Putin:

If you have a smartphone, I suggest downloading the Shazaam App. It is annoying to say but suuuuuper helpful when trying to name that tune!

“Here” could have been the theme song for most of my teens and 20s. Who am I kidding it still applies sometimes.

God, looking through this just makes you remember what absolute brilliance he was...

I didn’t really get it either until McQueen did this collection