Even us greys?? Because HOT DAMN I've been here for years and never been called one of the cool kids! IVE FINALLY MADE IT! #lifegoals

The answer is none. You should order an iced americano with an extra shot of espresso.

Nope, none of these. Absolutely not.

I have a friend that just did the Whole 30 and she said the first week was great, it was just that the second and third weeks were pure hell.

I had someone do that diet so that she could cure her Lyme disease. She was “I am not going to make it” for Days 1-3. “I feel amazing” Days 3-10 “This is harder than I thought” Days 10-20 and then “FUCK YOU ALL I QUIT” on day 21. On her second attempt everyone with the desire to stay sane and/or friends with her…

Let's put it on tshirts!

*raises hand* Can I be invited next time too? That sounds DELICIOUS!

My buddy JUST did it. I was surprised that it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be – there still allowed some stuff like potatoes and salt, for some reason – but I didn’t understand the logic behind some of the no-no foods, like legumes and low-fat dairy. She stuck to it for 26 days, then we went to a cottage and…

Dads, having more kids will not increase your dadness. You have a fixed amount of dad, and you have to dad it equally among all your kids. Just dad a small daddable group of kids, and each kid will get more dad. That’s just sensible dadmath.

What kind of monster DOESN’T?!

What kind of monster eats cheese on their guacamole?

Uuuugggghh, reminds me of when my coworkers all go on this three week cleanse. None of what you mentioned, and no chile either. Made ordering lunch for the office a bitch. They’d also drink this special “cleansing” tea and eat next to nothing and then marvel about how they’d lost 5 pounds and how their body was…

Pickled beets are the bomb. Beet juice? Absolute dirt and sadness. Well described.

People are so weird. And these good feelings the have are usually a placebo from positive expectations built from other people’s positive testimony.

I believe this is a case of “people are just really fucking weird.”

How about “Even less flawful?”

“I’m proud of my curves, which is why I wanted to diminish them using this diet.”

...and give me your hard-earned money so I can be even more flawless.

If you don’t eat cheese you ain’t flawless.