The genius of this comment is blowing me away right now.

I'm currently drinking gin as I read this. Now I feel remiss that I'm not pregnant so that I can pass on that botanical goodness!

About time people are using Florida Time.

No chunk should ever be Greek yoghurt flavoured. This will result in either yoghurt-anguish or chunk-dismay.

I'm gonna stick to thin mints and samoas, thanks very much.

The hot dog story is mine, and after that incident my coworkers and I made fun of her almost literally line-for-line what you just said, hahahah. "There's a farm where we carve out chunks of live cows. That's how we get non-dead all-beef hot dogs."

Was at our town's new "deluxe diner" last week. It's fantastic and they are brand-new so the waitstaff is still getting their footing, figuring out staffing patterns, menu quirks, etc. The food is sort of upscale diner-ish and just delicious. Anyway, as my table was finishing our meals, a new table sat next to us. Two…

My SIL used to work at Shmolive Garden too. She thought the penne was pronounced "punani"...until she said it at work one day.

How do these people not fall down and die more?

For the mouth part of your face!

i dont understand blindly loyal friends who say nothing/back people up in their stupidity. shut it down, guys. shut the bullshit down.

Reverse Mugatu seems like it should be a band, or maybe a pro wrestling move. =)

I would have told the gluten lady that I couldn't bring her a veggie dog with a clear conscience knowing that she was 'very alergic' to gluten.

"Oh! Well! Looks like you found those bread rolls after all. Wasn't that hard, was it?"

no knows I'm a cat. It's a secret I plan on taking to the grave.

When I was about 15, I sat my mother down and told her I didn't believe anything she believed (which she knew well, at that point) and that forcing me to go to church every week was just an exercise in misery for both us, and asked her to make both our lives easier by not forcing me to go anymore. She responded by…

I burnt out of public-school-teaching fast, hard, and early. My love of my students and my subject made me blisteringly impatient with the impotent administration and stupid arbitrary policies. The principal and I liked each other personally, but professionally, it was an armed truce. After seven years of arguing for…

I attempted to quit religion when I was about 14. Driving home one day my mom was talking about upcoming church plans, and I told her I wasn't going. I told her, for the first time, that I was atheist. She said "I know," in a really pissy voice and that was that. Only it wasn't.

In a vein similar to Kate's: When I was old enough to stop going to my family's yearly camping trip.