I would love to have this talented weirdo buy me a beer and just let me explain (read: sail off into the atmosphere) things to him. We can be two weirdoes together!

HA! Glad I'm not the only one to see that.

I am horrified right now. And my very first thought to your comment is "he'll get convicted on planting false evidence, but not for the actual murder."

After cat #2 we started sleeping with the door shut. A few stern smacks on the ass cleared up any door scratching and 3am howling that occurred at first.

I'll find them ripped to shreds and in the middle of the floor for me to find. Like 'here, I'm done destroying this, you can have it back now.'

That's true, and women are referred to as "catty."

Dude wut?

My youngest cat is obsessed with ponytails. Anytime I accidentally leave one lying on a table or the couch he will sidle up slowly, silently, wait for me to be distracted and...STEAL IT NOW RUN THE FUCK AWAY FAST AND HIDE THAT THING SO I CAN KEEP IT MUAHAHAHA!

TOUCHE!

I've always been curious about this: why are cats always referred to as female in commercials and most media? It just seems sort of odd. Is there a dearth of male housecats out there? If so, does that make my two worth money or something?

This was great, thank you!

No need to arrange, but you do need deep pockets:

My runners up are a tie between Dave Grohl and Anthony Bourdain.

Good one.

Good one.

The cast of Super Troopers.

Limp bacon is an affront to all that is good and decent in this world.

You're just the right shade of weirdo :)

I am the first and only female engineer in my department, I am 32 and my office is in a very small town. This is the second company where I've had this dubious distinction. My boss has been in his position for about 6 months now, and he's disliked by all but a few employees. So far at this company there have been…

I love this premise of purposefully designing the ugliest widget possible and convincing rich people to part with obscene amounts of money for it. It's fucking delicious.