The Catholic Church doesn’t have gay priests the same way Iran doesn’t have gay people. Sure!

That’s not fair! That Pope joined the Hitler Youth under duress*. That’s what he said!

Please keep in mind, while the prior pope was forced to join the Hitler Youth and Luftwaffenhelfer, he fled/deserted and denounced Nazism.

It’s like getting angry at water because it insists on staying wet.

In other news, it is confirmed that the pope is Catholic, poops in the woods.

What if you are done practicing and are just polished and professionally homosexual?

The stories are supposed to be about when celebrities are dicks. Not when your a dick to a celebrity.

I was a contractor in Baghdad in 2006-2007 when the most patriotic and ‘Merican of all entertainers, one Mr. Toby Fucking Keith, graced us with his presence. Being a jaded asshole, I was all prepared to roll my eyes as he visited and sucked up to the troops in front of the cameras for publicity’s sake. That shit did…

The birthdays thing is because he was a Jehovah’s Witness (also why he was hypocritically socially conservative later in life) ... it’s not exactly earth shattering.

He was a Jehovah’s Witness and they don’t celebrate birthdays. He was a convert and you know how jealous they can be.

He smells like this, of course.

Magic

I was thinking the Marlboro Man.

Just please, nobody ask Kane to explain Austrian Economics again.

Who’s the dickhead at the “press” conference wearing the Make America Great Again ballcap? Does he wear a Jeter game-worn jersey in the Yankee Stadium press box?

Among her first decrees:

Why no coverage of Gov. Branstad to Chinese Ambassador? A man who has a personal relationship with the President of China dating back to 1985? Longest serving governor? Lt. Gov. Kim Renolyds becoming Iowa’s first female Governor?

I’m not saying she’s a good person or that I agree with any political position she’s ever held, or that her appointment isn’t 100% payola based, but at least she’s technically qualified. that makes her better than most of his other picks.

State of the Union Raw 2018

Nice.