How many voters mandated this? ALL of the voters*.

Plus tax cuts. Gotta have tax cuts. America loves tax cuts. As the tax rate approaches zero we'll make it up on volume. Christ.

It was that or the Bosom Buddies reboot.

Plus it has way more history than most other sports, so there are decades more opportunity to accumulate good stories.

Hoosiers was good. Space Jam was junk. That Will Ferrell thing was awful.

It's a COMEDY site, not the news. You can't expect them to be accurate while they';re being funny. Geez.

If you watch The Wizard of Oz with Jurassic Park running in the background you don't have to watch Jeff Goldblum.

Broaden it to include fatuous fame whoring and add the offer of an Instagram post and your point stands.

So does the Trump White House! *rimshot*

And yet still better than fast food "fish".

NY and OH are harboring the last survivors. The internets say seven remain.

God Save the Bream

Never on fish, but on McD's "fish" it is not a bad plan.

It's good that they waited until after Lent to do the otherwise inexplicable fish sandwich review. Is there any other context in which this piece makes sense?

Oh THAT Mike Myers. I was kind of hoping for the one from Halloween.

You could keep it in your windowless van out back.

Much of Johnson's legacy is rooted in his work in the Senate before he jumped to the Executive branch.

Thank goodness he has that "make a great deal with foreigners" thing going for him. It's been such a pleasure watching his graceful management of our international relationships.

The unexpected part is how he comes to that realization out loud, in front of a mic, and then does it again and again. He's somehow not shy about it, as if he's not aware this "knowledge" is a fairly common assumption.

He could always gin up a medical reason to be "forced" to resign in favor of Pence and then everyone* would win.