The entitlement retards maturation.

Or whoever is on Nickelodeon these days.

Metal Machine Music, but only the Kenny G cover of it.

I've lost interest in this whole line of thought since Helen Thomas retired.

This is my Supersoaker, this is my gun.
This one's for press conferences, this one's for fun.

I made four so that if some don't make it I'll still have a couple around to care for me in my dotage.

Gold, really.

Hey Debbie Downer, get on board. Trump is making science* fun** again.

I can prove it too. His cells have the highest concentration of midichlorians I have seen in a life-form.

I like the ones with pecans the best.

…and then trying to kill themselves.

You could also combine the high school memories song with the girl sleeping with truck owner thing. (It's more a set of guidelines than actual rules.)

My fav MN State Fair concert was a looong time ago when the B-52s were touring Cosmic Thing and the Violent Fems opened for them. The high point was 7000 people watching the sign language interpreter to learn key phrases from Blister In The Sun.

No, no, no - it's spelt Raymond Luxury Yach-t, but it's pronounced 'Throatwobbler Mangrove'.

Soylent Green! It tastes like bald eagle!

I'm trying to stay positive and dwell on how unhealthy and vaguely sad he looks.

Really? I thought it was another jobs thing where he was going to keep the work onshore instead of letting those Russians do it.

Ducts, mostly. Like in Brazil.

At this point the thread has devolved into ways to tweak Trump rather than make good comedy. McCarthy was funny, but Spicer as a woman is not inherently funny. Trump as a woman would not be funny until Trump overreacted, which is way too meta.

Baldwin has to start playing Trump in a pantsuit.