If Johnson wasn't really cut out to be President it's clear he was always an all-time great at politics on the levels below.

But Bush just outsourced to Cheney and hung around for the fun perks and a few annual speeches. I could see Don screwing around in the bright lights and leaving this mess in Pence's hands as long as they humored him on a few high profile flings each year. I could also see Pence, Preibus and the rest of the Right…

Was Bust anything like Jugs? Because I don't recall a lot of crafting in Jugs.

They photoshopped my breasts on to Divine. Sad!

*explosions*

Arcgelder
The Ball Washers
Everyone Who Answered The Ad
Merely Everything
This Is My Good Shirt
No Point Perspective
Born on Third
Manic Repressives
Not Too Shabby
Not Tonight Dear
Not To Be Believed
Dumber Than Two Hammers
Ignoring The Critics
Pretty Adequate
New Year's Retribution
Lovely
Clown Shoes

No problem, Indianapolis doesn't have the internet.

As will "Thanks AV Club!"

"Pitiful Hurricane Helga is not the type of storm I would look at. Have you seen her?"

Free Will usually just ends up being an allusion to something others are doing.

All I know is Luciano Pavarotti's 1994 cassette was waayy better than his patter on the last Three Tenors tour. By then he was just phoning that shit in.

Thematic coherence is a very important responsibility when introducing Nickelodeon's central ethos to the young minds of tomorrow.

If we knew that we'd know when to stop drinking (*sob*).

It's because diarrhea on your hands is just gross.

Or the "rub some dirt on it" school of personal injury defense.

You were just going to be on TV, and the prizes were (sometimes literally) gravy.

Think about it: in New Jersey? Of course!

Too few words, too many thoughts, but plenty of commas.

…and dinner reservations.

Can I serve that with Soylent Green?