Before anyone compares this to denying services based on race, gender, or sexuality, liar-rotting-America-from-the-inside-for-personal-gain isn’t a protected class. Businesses can’t discriminate against people for, say, their race. But unless certain theories about a cabal of space lizards secretly running the world…

I’m actually more annoyed when I get asked by a server how I would like my burger done. It’s not a steak! It’s ground beef. You could get yourself killed eating a pink burger if the internal temp isn’t high enough! Perhaps there is some healthy variation, but ordering it like a steak implies it would be healthy to…

Michael Mancini is driving her crazy so he can take over the company.

This is patently false, although highly amusing.

Most of the melodies in The Nightmare Before Christmas are memorable and hummable. “This is Halloween” for example. His scores for Batman and Batman Returns have some great themes too, and while his Spider-Man theme isn’t really super hummable, it fits the character quite-well.

Nah, fuck that shit. I worked as a waiter for 7 years. I tip generously, but I don’t tip 20% no matter what. If someone fucks up I let them know, and I tip accordingly. You “20% of GTFO” people are taking this too far.

Tourists should abide by our customs and they have the Internet to inform them.

I was all set for Dril to turn out to be famous actor Jack Nicholson.

It was just over the state line in Georgia, but back in 2011 I caused a major falling-out among the members of my step-father’s family when my car - with its Obama bumper sticker - was spotted parked in my mom’s driveway. I mean, people still aren’t talking to each other because of the incident. The South can be so…

My mom’s parents lived about an hour north of Birmingham; I loved their place in the hills/mountains, but man, everything south of there was just beyond meh.

I grew up on the border. I remember when the Bush administration put up the fence all those years ago. I would pass by it literally every day until I moved away. I see it every time I go home. I hate that fence. I hate it so much. The idea of a border wall is infuriating to me. It creates in me an anger like little…

Seriously, no Nickelback? I mean, I get that hating on them is a little cliche

Every. Single. Time.

Whenever I’m on a road trip and my wife and I split up at the gas station, I can’t help but think of ‘The Vanishing’. Made a huge impact on me as a kid, I guess. I always think fleetingly ‘what if she just disappears?’

Would it have been so hard to include some actual quotes instead of just embedding the videos? Frankly, I don’t trust the A.V. Club to accurately paraphrase people.

If only some cunning sleuth could connect the dots to figure out who the perpetrator was. If only this puzzle didn’t have so many missing pieces...

I love how Hollywood’s go-to move when they discover a powerful man who worked in Hollywood for decades is a serial sexual harasser/rapist is to be totally shocked at this completely isolated incident perpetrated by one bad apple. They had no idea! How could they? They’ve never heard of this sort of thing happening?…

DRIP, can you introduce me to your girlfriend please? (this was a joke) Women who are into golden showers are hard to come by. By nature of this fetish’s popularity - like many of them, it was popularized by porn - it’s more typically men who are into it, and women usually either just “don’t mind” (a shitty option for…

He and Natalie Dormer deserve each other.