I think what people who are dragging them for knowing without doing anything about it are missing is that there are a lot more unwilling witnesses like these than there are victims. If we want the industry and its guilds to change policies and procedures it can’t be done only by a few hundred victims if the thousands…

David Cross needs to stop. He’s actually a brilliant comedian, but also a complete asshole. How hard would it have been to say, ”Charlene, I don’t remember saying racist things to you, but I know it’s possible. Often, I am an asshole. I appreciate your letting me know how remarks I think of as off-hand can really…

I remember him...which is a testament to his talent and his personality! It’s been years since I’ve seen that season.

That’s her choice. No one gets to dictate her choices about how she deals with this situation. Thanks. Also, if you are a man, this is your time to listen, not talk. Thank you again.

I was harassed at a work Christmas party by the on-air talent. Blatantly, brazenly and shockingly. It was only half an hour in. One minute a group of us were discussing politics and then out of the blue he stated that I had magnificent breasts and he wanted to suckle on my nipples. After a moment of shocked silence I…

I want to see someone have the fucking guts to say, “I had heard the rumors. Maybe I never saw anything, but I wasn’t deaf. I had heard. And I didn’t do anything. I didn’t do anything because I was scared. I was scared that Harvey would crush me. I put my own self interests before the interests of others. I was able…

I read the thread, and I agree with a lot of things said by you here, and also everyone last night. I am really only posting here because I found it frustrating, there and AGAIN HERE RIGHT NOW, that there are STILL men posting comments like “I hope it’s not me!” and “maybe I’m a jerk sometimes but I try not to are you…

I agree. In my experience, some men feel like their voice is always valid, no matter the topic. It’s frustrating, because it’s so blatantly rude but we’ve been conditioned not to “upset” them, so often they don’t know or care that they’re the assholes here

Ugh. Well, a follow-up to the thread I started last week.

Been there, done that, got the tee-shirt. When people ask me how many miscarriages I had before we ended up with an actual baby, I just say “fewer than 10.” Had them with fertility cycles, I had them between the fertility cycles. This is the way I know, at a gut, experiential level, that a fertilized egg is not a…

Agreed. Abusers create these little roadblocks - even when someone is perfectly capable of driving to the drugstore for new pills or condoms, it’s still a hassle - and an emotionally exhausted victim might not be able to deal with “one more little thing” and give in to their abuser.

She’s desperately trying to gain validation in this conversation. She’s telling people on the outside that he does things to her without her permission. As a survivor, I know the struggle all too well. Unfortunately, he interrupts and then her voice is dismissed with the nerd bit. I can imagine how furious he must’ve…

Not really the point. Of course she could have gotten another pack (though that’s not necessarily easy), or insisted on condoms, or used female condoms, or just not had sex, etc etc etc. He obviously wasn’t trying to be sneaky, he did it right in front of her. Point is it’s controlling behavior.

This is victim-blamey. A lot of women don’t realize the warning signs because they’re in love with the person & you see the positive aspects of their personality, which at the time outweigh the negative. A person who has endured abuse before might not realize the warning signs because the dynamics of an abusive,…

So, while yes, it’s not like she wouldn’t notice that there was no pill to take, it wouldn’t be super easy to just get a new pack. Insurance companies and pharmacies can be super strict about how often they’ll let you get refills. There are a lot of hoops to having them replaced. It’s not sneaky.

To everyone saying this interview has a number of abusive hallmarks, let me add one more: this is the same couple that decided to totally isolate themselves for some insanely long period after the birth of their child, and he was particularly gung-ho about the idea. Which means we now have isolation, coercion,…

An element of coercion is very often that the victim doesn’t feel like he or she has a choice. I’m not saying that’s necessarily what happened here (I don’t know enough about them, though the story really squicks me out), just that the fact that someone does something seemingly voluntarily doesn’t mean they aren’t…

Absolutely. This link should be required reading for anyone in an abusive relationship. “Couples therapy” doesn’t work with abusers—if anything, it helps them figure out how to polish up their image and presentation while still maintaining control.

It’s a sign that he is abusive.

Yeah let me tell you. It takes a lot of manipulation to get a person to the point where a dude can throw away all her birth control pills while a friend films it and then she can have his baby. Just based on this interview, he’s been pushing her boundaries and testing her limits since they first starting dated.…