Also:

This is exactly how I would have played it. For both parties involved.

No. Pastrami is not made with pork. It’s made with beef. That’s why it’s popular in Jewish delis. He had beef ass hands.

Well, the other day I was pulled over for going 66 in a 45.. The officer knocked my ticket to a $65 fine for having an air freshener hanging from my mirror. I would like to get off with a warning JUST ONCE.

My little sister came home one day sobbing and said “my friend hung himself.” My mom patted her on the shoulder and said, “hanged.”

Everybody's got a price.

Indeed. In Killer Mike’s own words, he (can) catch a beat running like Randy Moss.

We need 4 hippos and about 60 watermelons. Now

Gah, rich white guys are getting everything these days, even first hug dibs on guys who hit game-winners.

Love it, great advice. One thing I found that works pretty well is to put liquor in small ziploc bags. They’re super easy to hide and you can just buy your mixers in the stage area.

He’s having a banner year.

Aside from his music and portfolio investment what business ventures of his have been a verifieable success?

Clothing line. Owning parts of a sports team. His sport agent business.

Waiting at the airport for a flight. There’s a line of about 10 people at the counter that were delayed from an earlier flight. Some dude pushes past the line and screams at the desk agent that, “(He) has to be on this flight! And it has to be first class!” Agent tells him that she can help him but he need to wait in…

Ooh, this one will be fun! The first story coming to my mind is one I have told on here before, but I’m sure it will be new to most of you:

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT SAY ANY DRUGS YOU TAKE ARE ORGANIC.

Yes. Ashley Judd can kill him now.

Their fault for being so delicious.

Did she have some big titties with a matching ass?