This didn't happen to me exactly, but it's still pretty awesome. So my aunt was getting married (c.1982), a few years before I existed, and her wedding color was a light mauve. She picked out nice mauve invitations with dark text which were surprisingly elegant considering it was the early 80s. She gave them to her…

Right? I have to laugh or I will never stop screaming.

One of my friends thinks that it's ok to, when prepping for a date that might involve the butthole pleasures, sluice out his juicebox in the shower. So, then, when he would inevitably drop turds in said shower, smush them down the drain with his big toe. My husband and I refer to this phenomenon as The Monster Mash.

I am totally into you right now.

I just laughed so god damn loud. Monster Mash. Omg.

Finally, some justice for the friends and family of Mr. Buttons. Gone, but not forgotten. Thank you. But how many ginger-people must die before I'm out of the greys?!

Omg. I know this is from last week, but holy shit that was a beautiful story!

In the video about possum nail care she talks about how you can tell a possum's age by their "hoary" feet but that possums aren't "whores." She cares about possums a lot.

You sound creepy as fuck.

I went into this getting ready to hate-watch, but I ended up liking her! And I don't know why! I'm so confused right now...

so true

the real heroes are internet commenters who are always here to remind us how much everyone sucks

I ENDORSE THIS FRIENDSHIP.

I know! It stole the show and even the jaded hollywood elite looked so excited to get their cute Lego oscars.

I LIKED IT TOO. So there Jezebel editorial staff.

J. Lo: "Everyone!"

What show are you watching, because it must not have been the fun and yes, awesome, performance I watched. I could not stop smiling.

The gingerbread story made me laugh so hard I cried.

I'm just lurking this thread but CHA CHA. Every few months I find myself at Cha Cha at closing. A truly soul-crushing experience.