Same, I’m 33 and I still get carded on a regular basis. Hated my oily skin as a hormonal teenager, love my oily skin as an adult

Bumble is the worst, I hate Bumble

Hey, everyone, I found the asshole!

Taco bell is delicious, I don’t care what people say, that shit is bomb. Is it Mexican food? Fuck no! Is it good and cheap? Yup! And they are one of the only places with vegan options; their bean and tortillas are lard-free, so crunchwrap can be made vegan, fresco bean burrito, damn, now I’m hungry

Mmmmm, avocado

Angry white males do not age well. Neither do angry white females. Exhibit A) Kellanne Conway, exhibit B) that hideous woman at Megan and Harry’s wedding who was only like 2 years older than Megan but looked like she was pushing 50. It’s all those dry, European skin genes; shit falls apart real easy

I had to call code enforcement on my last apartment. I’d been having an ongoing issue with a hole in the roof (I was on the top floor) which caused a hole in the ceiling of my bathroom. Every time it rained it would start leaking, they’d send the repair guy out to patch it with Spackle, I’d make a comment about the…

That show was AMAZING!! I loved Don’t Trust the B!

Bamboo are great too. I got a set at my local refill store (suuuuuuuper hippie, refill all your cleaning and healthcare items without using new packaging) and they came with a little scrub brush so I can clean them properly. I shove it in the little pack that my reusable cutlery lives in and take them with me…

WHY WOULD YOU POST THIS!?!?! A coworker tricked me once saying “hey wanna see a funny video?” I was not prepared for that. Oh god, those sounds........ the sounds....

A new day, a new Brock Turner in the making. “NOBODY TELLS MY BOY NO! LOOK AT THAT SLUT, SHE WANTED IT! IF SHE DIDN’T WANT IT SHE WOULDN’T BE DRESSED LIKE THAT!”

If I have screenshots of my manager at Starbucks sending me racist memes, which the company decided to ignore when I reported it over a year ago, who should I send those to?

Ahhh, Tinder’s finest. Latest one sent me a message about “sand in your cooch” then got an attitude when I said “I don’t even know how to respond to this.”

Sounds like something I would do, then just stay home with my cats, order a pizza and spend the weekend with my Netflix playing “how many episodes can I watch in one day.”

My girl cat would be a Slytherin no doubt, but boy cat would be a Hufflepuff. For sure a Hufflepuff

If they were paranoid and convinced that she was in cahoots with the ex, they may have had cameras hidden all over the house and filmed it by accident. Police probably found it while searching the house.

Yeah, I really don’t understand why my people feel so entitled to use that word. It’s not ours! Just chill the fuck out, go get some brunch and get the fuck over it! It’s one gotdamn thing you can’t have, Becky!

Only 9am on the West Coast, I’m hoping this (his sentence, not your comment) is the stupidest thing I’ll read today, but I’m not holding my breath.

Bob Ross, I’d be so sad if Bob Ross turned out to be a creep. Like, what about the happy little clouds Bob!? Now they’re crying, just like me! Lol

“I think people forget I’m a real person and these things embarrass and humiliate me.”