Cum Dog Jizzionaire

“What color was the dog’s urine?” - Tom Herman

Corporations are people, my friends.

Cutler and Cavallari are just lucky they’re immune to the kind of struggles that befell Rodgers and Munn.

During all of this, he mostly looked and carried himself like a mopey Fordham 3L who was just going through the motions before getting a job at his dad’s firm.

Take a bite out of your tax bill.

She’s borrowing gravitas. Sept. 11 is a crutch she’s using to skate A Very Serious Program.

Who’s a bigger tool? Someone who wears Big Baller Brand gear or The Money Team gear?

“Wait, you mean the human has to do the work? Pass.” - Equestrians

WOOSH

Why’d Hernandez wait til he got to first? He wanted to make sure Cabrera saw him do his anti-climactic, meaningless “You’re outta here” dance during a spring training game?

JOEY (Bats) JOEY (Bats) JOEY (Bats)

But what about the jobbie nooners!

Bingo. Just started this practice and it’s absolutely the right way to go.

(Having arguably the greatest quarterback and head coach of all time goes without saying.)

Yeah, this was kind of fucked up given the unbelievable amount of human suffering occurring in Syria.

No one’s denying World War 2 was awful. Also, I thought it was more for the 18+ crowd.

A soccer player read the New York Time instead of the Daily News so his teammates called him an elitist and threw food at him.

Shanghai is a pretty metropolitan city, so this isn’t 100% surprising.