This is why we must thwart them by voting in Jean-F******g Berube, the Islanders’ third goalie that Garth Snow insists on keeping on the roster despite the dire need to use that roster spot elsewhere. He would qualify under these rules...and hasn’t even seen a single game yet. Your move, NHL.

“We want fish sticks!”

He’ll reunite with his friend Brandon Marshall on the Jets, and lead them to the promised land of a middling record and a shitty draft position.

Because 2 is too few, and because 3 is odd and unlucky, you should always follow the rule of 4. 4 is a nice tidy symetrical approach to drunkenness.

Anyone who thinks today’s baseball is better than 90's baseball is an asshole.

I believe Deadspin fired Will Gordon so they could sell Coors ads.

NFL football is boring as fuck.

YES!

Disneyland or Disneyworld? I have been to both, and Orlando is about 1000 times better for everything, including the non-park stuff.

Things got really tense when both vehicles wound up in line at a nearby Checkers.

But that would stop this from happening, and this is a good thing that we want happening.

Why are there so many NY Rangers there, and why are they in orange jersies?

Colon: Damn, I’m so hungry I could eat a..

The Islanders, and more specifically Charles Wang, did everything that they could to try and keep the team right where it was. This included paying $20 million a year out of his own pocket to keep the team afloat, revitalizing and renovating the arena and surrounding area at minimal cost to taxpayers, and even went as…

12. Horrific motorboating accident.

With your ex, strive for civility, equanimity, and decency; with the children, practice patience, be present, and be willing to listen at any time of the day or night.

It's not your fault.

Judging by the bio, Hardy has animosity toward anything with a period.

Patrick Kane is pretty hard to deal with one on one

This is kind of like the opposite of the Cowboys this week, where the GM had to keep Greg Hardy from cutting a coach.