I did once see a workhorse evolved into a jackass.

Actually, I'm pretty sure nobody's missed more shots than Jay Cutler's kids.

I'm a Cardinals fan and I wouldn't be caught dead in that shirt. Mostly because I'm white.

The dean's been trying to shut down Perv House for years.

Pictured: Members of two different groups who vowed never to be burned by the Heat ever again.

So in Scientology terms is that OT6 or OT7?

How can I put this, Mikey?

Speaking from experience, I'm glad the NCAA has reduced the sanctions on Penn State. Anybody that's against sex with minors has clearly never been trapped underground.

If Sam doesn't catch on with the Cowboys, I suppose he is always able to join the Indians, Construction Workers, Sailors or Police Officers.

Looks like the Harbaugh Bros got a pair of Ray Bans

Well, the Trojan is broken, but at least he pulled the little guy out in time.

You can tell he's drunk since he's making a pass.

Current CEO Broomhilda Von Schweepenstein has assured me that everything is on the up and up-nothing has been swept under the rug.

You laugh, but the "Ice Squegee Broom" sponsorship is looking up and the "Slippery But Not TOO Slippery" shoe company has shown more than a little interest recently.

Strange, because the funniest Greek prank is being hit in the face with a π.

1,695 words before Will gets to the only one you need:

WHAT IN THE ABSOLUTE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU