Sometimes I text Allen to let him know.

Yeah, I've never had a problem with that. I can reconcile that my partner poops and is still a sexual being. But we didn't get to pooping with the door open for a while.

Particularly on a question like this, where it’s easy to simply say “Yes, there are several subjects on which I’ve changed my mind after learning more/getting older/circumstances changed, etc.” As stupid as the American public is, they’re not so stupid that they don’t understand that people’s opinions may change over…

Or send a Latino interviewer. He would literally bolt.

There’s nothing more glaring in an interview than when the subject gets defensive and obfuscates because they know that answering a simple question truthfully will make them look bad. This is going to be good.

Ummm. Exactly. This is how I still fit into my HS cheerleader outfit. I chase everything with water. And cocaine.

Does anyone remember Max Factor 2000 Calorie mascara? Those who live outside the US probably do, because you can still buy it, but it hasn't been sold in the US for a long time. I used to love that stuff. I remember it making my eyelashes look HUGE. I don't know anymore if I idealized it in my memory, or if it really…

Does anyone remember Max Factor 2000 Calorie mascara? Those who live outside the US probably do, because you can…

That might be my favorite BCO story ever. So perfect.

SHE WAS EATING POPCORN FOR ALL OF US!!

This gif is perfect. That story was perfect. It makes me gleefully happy that this happened (not necessarily that potato face was mean, but that revenge was had, even if it was silly).

Only a deranged asshole would order bacon extra limp, then offer said gelatinous fatty tissue to a terrified waitress as a peace offering. Crispy or nothing, limp dick psycho Santa.

Re: Becca Page's story... I pity that woman. What an empty life she must lead, if she must assert her presumed superiority over others in that way. I mean, who does that? Throwing the cash on the ground because a service employee dares to have something in common with you? I wonder if she even remembers doing that.

Amanda Benson's story made me think of the one time I ever worked on the 4th of July. The story doesn't involve horrible customers, or horrible anyone really.

I wonder if anyone ever comes here and is like "Oh my god, that was me."

I love the concept of garlic fries but tasting raw garlic for 2 days straight is really not my thing.

so good.

I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know my cheddar biscuits will be free. And I won't forget the men who died, so I can bitch about automatic gratuity.

As embarrassing as the Rolling Stones article was, it was definitely comparable to Jezebels embarrassing response to anybody questioning it’s validity...

"I don't need to justify how I earn a living any more than you do."

Me during the popcorn story