I really wanted Rashida Jones to get a shot at it. I think she would’ve been great.

Waking up in ICU with amnesia.

Now make squeezable tzatziki. THEN we’re in business.

The success of any good show like this hinges on its Bad Guys. No surprise then, that the turn around in quality mirrored these mugs:

OMG a WOLF! not a Dog, a WOLF. May the WOLFgodess bite your but!

It’s a 50/50 thing.

All Trump supporters.

Thomas and Martha Wayne gun each other down in Crime Alley; Bruce, scarred by watching his parents simultaneously commit murder and be murdered, becomes Batman to prevent anyone else from becoming a parent.

Or, cut the valve off of a whoopee cushion and attach it to the vent, so that the car farts when you close the doors.

Actually, Smash Mouth is the name of the doctor. The band is Smash Mouth’s monster.

Yeah, HOMO’s letter is just creepy as hell. Getting involved with someone whose friends you universally dislike is a giant red warning light on a relationship. If you’re in it for the long term, you’re going to want and need decent relationships with at least some of those friends. Also, the friends they keep and the…

Honestly, I was disappointed by The Fractured But Whole in its entirety. I’m an unabashed South Park fan, and absolutely adored The Stick of Truth, but TFBW felt joyless, soulless, and just...I dunno, not fun.

I eventually forced myself to get all the way through it, and I’m glad I did, but I wonder how much of my…

The two that always get me are The Dark Knight at #4 and Fight Club at #10. I would qualify both of those as good movies but definitely not top 10 of all time. But I’m also kinda biased against The Dark Knight because I was really annoyed by the online outrage when it wasn’t nominated for best picture and the fact…

Nowadays your first season had better be strong, because you’re canceled if it isn’t.

Trust me, whatever conversation you were having gets forgotten the instant you get hit in the face with a lobster claw.

I can’t wait until this gets turned into a Dan Brown-esque conspiracy thriller.

Pro Tip for the first guy:

Ken Jennings would be fun as host.

Once again, the conservative, sandwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor.

While I generally loathe smart phones and the effect they’ve had on society, this is one way in which they’ve been a huge benefit. Twenty years ago it would have been “she said / she said.” Now, with everyone carrying around a tiny movie camera, there’s irrefutable evidence of this crap—and, more and more often, conseq…