I think you’re overthinking an intentionally silly episode a bit.

You need to get it a vest and say its an emotional support appendage. They’ll be too afraid of HR to argue.

More people are right-hand dominant, as well.  In panic situations, a common mistake is to jerk the wheel with the dominant hand, and I'd rather end up in the ditch than oncoming traffic.

I just don’t understand why Weston the Super-Mare doesn’t sort it out. What’s the point of having a superhero horse around if she isn’t keeping the peace?

My guess is that the bus driver stopped listening to his rants about the roads and how the council wasn’t fixing them properly, so he needed a new way to be a crank.

That’s definitely another catch to this deal.

Just be warned, they'll send the same package right back with Madonna in it.

No, no, don't they're the baby.  That's what the ejector seat in the papoose is for!

That was going to be my answer, too. But I would act like it just slipped out, get a look of dawning horror on my face and start mumbling about how they’ll find me now.

Do you see how your holier-than-thou dismissal of people who choose a different diet than you makes you a hypocrite and you just don't care, or is your cognitive dissonance strong enough that you don't even see it?

No, you don’t. Someone with your shitty attitude wouldn’t be able to keep one business open, much less many. You may get by as a shitty employee with a toxic attitude towards customers, but that’s short-term. Long term you’ll work for the DMV where they accept attitudes like yours.

What restaurant to you work for? I want to make sure I never go there, since you seem to think you can provide shit service and never get called on it.  "Your pizza was 40 mins late?  How dare you have a problem with that, you asshole?!?"

That’s long of reinforcing bad behavior from the Domino’s, though. If they keep getting away with it, they’ll keep doing it.

“Who would willingly submit to such mortification for the sake of a chocolate lava cake?”

I don't know... I’d think twice before giving anything that splatters to teenagers looking for candy.

People act like I'm crazy when I say Garfunkel's voice was a big part of their success as a team.  Simon's a great songwriter, but not at all exceptional as a performer.  

Seth Meyers and Stephen Colbert still get laughs from me every show. I wouldn’t watch them if they didn’t. The fact that they do so by mocking Trumplestiltskin for all the stupid/corrupt/horrible things that he does is just because he will not stop doing them. Everybody would love a Trump-free newsday... except Trump,…

Their timeline is kind of nuts.  They have a week including writing, so rehearsals don't start right away.  There's also changes being made and skits being added/dropped up until the last minute.  

I meant that I didn’t know what happened at the Emmys. I should look it up, I suppose.

Maybe. I didn’t watch the Emmys.