If you’re so afraid of the world that you’re scared of going to Starbucks without being armed to the teeth, you probably aren’t going to react well to a real threat.

What if instead of seceding, we just kinda stuffed them into Idaho? No harm, no foul.

Looks like I’m going to have to start wearing long sleeve shirts to Seahawks games.

I prefer “fuck you, you fucking fuck.”

Zygi played the rubes, jamming Minnesotans silly

Good thing it didn’t have antlers—that would’ve been a much harrier situation.

That’s what those wily Coyotes get for always using the Acme Co. Stadium Building Kit.

You may dislike Michael Moore or really dislike Michael Moore, but he nailed it back in September:

All of Boston too, just because.

“Next is squirrel.”

Joe Biden is the fucking man.

You don’t even want to know what they were tweeting at Ha Ha Clinton-Dix

On Lawrence O'Donnell, he had a segment where he talked about New Yorkers for the most part have not fallen prey to the fear/terror that these attacks were intended to provoke. He compared the attitude to that of Londoners during the bombing in World War II - "Keep Calm and Carry On". He also said that the people that…

Fear is the entire object of terrorism (it’s conveniently located right in the very word). Every time we overreact or change our ideals in the light of a terrorist act, we are complying with the wishes of the terrorist.

There we go. Now you can use it every morning! Unless you’re a Boxster man.

Now for the Golf R version...

Shit, this dude has a stat-line that sounds like something right out of the Kim Jong-il Propaganda Handbook.

Steve Neblaska!