Yeah, this is a “literal interpretation” of the Quran the same way the Rapture Narrative is a “literal reading” of the Book of Revelation. Make any old random, self-serving shit up, assure people that it’s based on what is the obvious reading of the sacred text to any true believer, boom, “literal interpretation.”…

Yes, they do.

Yeah, I’d really be interested to know the history of this, er, movement?

Noooo, yah think?

WHY IS KINJA NOT LETTING ME EDIT AGH

Yeah, because trusting white purple has NEVER backfired on us...

“Swartzenfrei,” if you will.

Eh, we all need a hobby. I have GAD, so mine tend to be calming things, his seems to fit his disorder just as well. More power to that fuckin' racist piece of human garbage. What?

Mmm, no, trust, we're talking about standards so exacting that to follow them you'd have to think they were, well, passed down from God himself or something. The "one swift stroke... that they feel no pain" rule is a REALLY big deal in kashrut, and a rabbis have been known to accuse butchers of using knives with…

It's... complicated. Long story short meat can easily be both, and very, very often is if it's one or the other.

9/9/9 Never Forget

Just BLATENT creepshaming

Aaaand my home state lives up to every horrible stereotype about itself once again. Throw in something about serial rapists in Bridgeport and some Richard Gilmore-type getting a three-digit fine for burning down a Puerto Rican neighborhood in Hartford to balance his annual budget and I'll never need to buy a local…

It seriously is just a numbers game shrouded in a bunch of culty monster bullshit. If you approach everyone you see and just as "Will you please have sex with me?" then yeah, some of them will, totally say yes. The idea that this mysterious secret of the universe will only be revealed to you if you accept their…

You do know that getting high at a party doesn't actually cause you to "go down in flames" (or do anything at all except probably bore your friends with your latest half-baked adolescent theory of everything) and that it was made very clear that all the yoots giving this testimony were essentially paid or, in some…

I know everyone's jumping on this bandwagon, but I was never a teenager. No, seriously though, this doesn't apply to everyone: there were a fair number of sober handjobs in my teen years. I mean, that was only because you can't buy booze after nine in my state and kids are shit at scheduling, but you know, the point…

But then Kevin Bacon came and saved your town with the power of dance, right?

OK, but where do I stream pornography?

I have a West Indian co-worker who keeps a bottle of weed rum (I know, wheels within wheels on the stereotypes there) in her kitchen at all times and chastises me every time I get a winter cold because apparently, if I drank that stuff every day (every day with breakfast) instead of smoking joints, I would literally…

That's probably used hard liquor, which is famous for containing alcohol, a substance which can be infused with THC, instead of water or industrial potassium or guava juice, or one of the many other liquids with which this would not have worked. Yes, I'm getting huffy about weed science, don't judge.