Swedish racing green.

Still want to get a Phaeton.

You cannot go wrong with a V8 powered american 4-door muscle car, and its the 1994 Chevy Impala SS that brought back the SS name, so why not this 1996 (the only year with gear selector on the floor) black example with 45.000 miles for currently a tad under 5 grand:

You can also tow your other toys then too!

(The truck and boat below are actually my buddy's. I love his setup with the Phoenix Pop Up Camper, so he can sleep in it when traveling for fishing tournaments.)

It comes with a glovebox full of coupons to Golden Coral.

El Camino

Midlife crisis starter pack

Ta da!

I would troll him soooo hard. So very hard. With all my heart, even.

I want a Jalopnik sticker on my motorcycle to spload heads.

"I live my life nine-point-eight meters per second."

You have a great point but I for one am slowly but surely converting my garage into a workshop ala 12-gauge garage:

It never ceases to amaze me how many garages are filled with worthless crap, while the very expensive cars sit outside.

Clear all the shit out of your garage and park your car in it. It will be warmer in the morning and you don't have to clear off the snow

Jeep Renegade in American Flag livery

AWD, Good on Gas, Inexpensive, and plenty of room for packages.

Agreed the Scatpack is a way(WAY!) smarter buy. For the price of a Hellcat(actual price) you can buy a ScatPack and a house in someparts of the country. Or even better a Scatpack, a Ram Ecodiesel and a Ducati 1199 Panigale.

The lightweight materials on my car are just where shit's missing... :/

Tell you what. If Jalopnik/Lanesplitter/Gawker can arrange for some motorcycle gear to get sent to me, I'll test that shit out.

Looks good but I'll be waiting for the supposed-to-be 200HP Abarth