You’re gonna respond to my snark with a witty, learned comeback? What’s kinja coming to these days!

Not nearly enough twerking to qualify as “gratuitous,” unfortunately.

I dunno about wildlife, but I just saw the gorilla my dreams.

That’s only because you’re aiming too high! Lebron James? C’mon.

Who will be his Ernie Di?

It’s the helmet to helmet for me. All these concussions ... wait, what we talkin’ about?

I remember when sportswriters had cocks of steel and weren’t spurting jizz every time some goddamn coach did something they liked.