Mercedes status symbol:

Nobody’s shoving these articles down your throat, man.

When you’re a grownup and you love something, you look at it—and yourself—honestly.

This is a terrible take.

It’s another version of “OMG Tuesdays are Purple!” Except for Groucho and the Predator.

Late bloomer. Chilled the eff out, like we all wish Elon would.

I was a dork and even I find Elon insufferable.

I would absolutely wear that bananas banana hammock to have this life.

Imagine having to take your work seriously every day at a place called Ding-ol-fing.

This is a good ad.

Vice Emperor. Pronounced "VI-chy."

Henry Ford got exactly what he wanted: the German head of state is the leader of the Western world. 

I will judge the shit out of cafeteria Christians who think the party that attacks the Neighbor and the Stranger better “represents” the Bible because it is also anti-gay and anti-choice.

Petty signed the only Black driver in NASCAR and helped ban the ultimate symbol of systemic racism. Learn how to take a massive W.

Richard Petty is a died-in-the-wool, arch-conservative Republican.

Counterpoint: this upright, gray plastic slab of an Oldsmobile dash is something only my kindergartener will love at Radwood in 15 years.

Don't get crozz

I hope VW I.D.’s the racists. Someone should Tiguan for the team and call them Audi by name.

I wish he’d scale up the size 20% and replace the Model X.