Oh boy. I’ve worked a service job; I know this dance. This is going to lead to Micky D’s gently demanding their employees to really lay on asking if customers would like a side of fries. The workers won’t like doing it, the customers won’t like hearing it but, damn it, an inconsequential number is down!

You were doing great until the last sentence, bud

The machine is already broken if a food delivery app is shoving instant-regret meals in my face that I’d have to perform the walk of shame to acquire.

I can already imagine Squeenix response on this - the players just don’t understand, this new tech will revolutionize gaming, yadda yadda.

SE, stay the fuck away from The Oregon Trail.

I know it’s been said thousands of times but if you’re a billionaire why are you still fucking around with social media? You won capitalism so go enjoy yourself. 

You’re reaching so far with that anecdote that I think we’re going to need to see some receipts...

That’s quite a conclusion to jump to from your sample size of one

Thank goodness we’ve finally got an objective source! You should share this documentation with Musk and Taibbi! BTW did your uncle's roommate work for Nintendo at the time, and did you have a girlfriend in Canada?

*“his”

I doubt he was picked on. He was probably ignored for being just as unlikable as he is today. 

I’m no authority but there were memes/jokes about blue checkmarks being “oh look at them ooo” because of how difficult it was to get for years and years, but they didn’t have the “liberal woke elite” element and no one was that serious about it.

*We need to take his billions.

How fun it is to watch a man who has no better idea than dumping obscene amounts of money to make his PC game launcher somewhat competitive lecture us about meritocracies.

“We nerds”

The only gratifying thing about reading this is knowing that this rich asshole wakes up every morning and thinks to himself, "Here's what I should have said to Kendall in 7th grade, yeah that's such a good comeback."

What a dipshit lmao

Being a 53 year old adult who’s still mad about getting picked on in high school is just sad.  

For a man of this status and influence making such sweeping and inaccurate allegations is wild. they’re conspiratorial. 

Also: I was raised by good parents and when I was 20 I was a tall, broad-shouldered dude. My behavior in Ashley’s circumstances would be nearly identical because holy shit what else do you do in those circumstances as an untrained college kid that a zombie cult is trying to sacrifice?