Right, though the answer to this is better unions, not no unions.

You went to college to LEARN? You poor, poor soul. You go to college to get a piece of paper that costs $30,000 and gives you the right to apply for jobs you won’t get unless you know someone.

Wonder how many confederate flag wavers are telling Hillary supporters “you lost, get over it”?

This sounds like another recent top executive, who is wholly unqualified but earned his position by tweeting, filling out his cabinet.

First call I’ll make if I’m in charge: Kobe Bryant. Because Kobe understands winning. He understands, also, these players, you know? And so I would call. “What role you want, bro?” If you got a day, just give me that day, I’ll take that. Whatever time he has, I want him to come and be a part of it.

It will fucking never fucking be fucking acceptable that there are so many fucking countries with so much fucking goddam food, and there are countries in which people are quite literally starving to death.

Counterpoint — Exxon’s $400mm man:

I would argue that the author DOES see that, and it’s pretty plain in his piece. This is not a hit job on Ilitch, but more of a analysis of the complicated nature of a rich man doing what’s best for him while it also benefits a struggling city.

And nothing you just said—despite how well you said it—should have been a surprise to anyone. Yet somehow he fooled almost half the country. Totally embarrassing.

I think the only reasonable solution is some kind of no-holds-barred battle royale to the death with the trainers and staff. Just put all 11 orcas and all the people in the pool until only one person or whale is left, then they are king of Sea World.

What if my bootstraps cost $6 million?

Good god I hate Syracuse. Their fans’ obsession over a freaking jackass basketball coach, who goes completely out of his way to criticize his own players (attempting to hurt their draft stocks) who earn him millions of dollars for free, and has committed clear and significant violations, is nothing short of absurd.…

Jim Boeheim is a piece of shit. A Genuinely horrible person.

he insists on making it like a weird power challenge. If you watch him, he does this stupid tug of war thing every time and I’m sure, without a doubt, he over does it on the pressure. I hate men who do that because it’s such a stupid thing to want to prove. Especially since I usually wear a lot of rings and it fucking…

But, but, but, guys.... teachers unions... amirite? So time for them to go and make those fat cat teachers EARN the right to buy their own school supplies. Go get ‘em, Betsy!

You’re being too nice. Stupid is definitely the right word. Many Republican voters are the textbook definition of “stupid.”

This was great. You know why? Because, for all of 2 minutes, I wasn’t thinking about the next four years.

NOW the Republicans will rob us? NOW? Like it’s new?

Can’t believe you didn’t include this amazing Cohn quote: