It’s always awkward when a guy from Michigan becomes a born-again Southern Rock icon.

I don’t support pete for president, but I do support him in a VP campaign. I want his earnest “I sure do love Jesus and I have the receipts” ass to get up on a stage and take a podium opposite Mike Pence. I want to watch Pence squirm trying to justify his fascism with bible verses while Mayor Pete fucking dunks on…

“We’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Mustaches on fire off the shoulder of CGI Orion.”

The Trank movie is a disaster, but the Tim Story ones aren’t much better. They’re not horrible, but they really don’t have a sense of what makes the characters or their mission special. There’s a kind of calculated blandness to them.

So is Barf Bag gone now? Did I miss an announcement or something?

I did a lab in college

I’m not taking a picture, but my senior year quote was “If I had the chance, I’d ask the world to dance.” Billy fucking Idol. And I graduated HS in 2003.

Triggered was surprisingly a well-written book. It was nuanced, and highly erudite, with some poignant, thought-provoking points— I’ve been informed that I’m actually reading the nutrition facts on the back of a salt shaker, my mistake.

She’s running.

...I imagine helping her up off the floor after a bout with a hammered Judi Dench....

I love the appreciation for Queen Helen but when I imagine running into her it’s usually at the local pub, drinking a pint and regaling the locals with funny stories about horrible actors she’s worked with. 

This casting gets more and more intriguing. (I had pictured Serkis as a social-climbing Cockney version of the Penguin, obsessed with stature but dwarfed by his goons, but I’m happy enough with Farrell as a sneering dapper Penguin who absolutely needs to have a monocle.)

Get this guy a fuckin Puppers.

I prefer "person who can masturbate in any room in the house, except when the dog is watching."

I was ‘self-partnered’ throughout much of my teenage years, and while it was perfectly fine for my mental health my wrist joints sound like a cement mixer.

I got as far as “Emma Watson turning 30" and got too distracted by my joints creaking to read any farther.

I cannot get my head around Prisoner of Azkaban being the lowest performer of the original movies. It’s the only one that was more than a “meh, it’s fine” production.

Dare we dream they’ll play House of Pain during a party that humorously gets out of control?

Nah man, it’s gotta be “Kiss Me” by Sixpence None The Richer.

or Del Amitri’s “Roll To Me”.