A man after my own heart.

I just want MBS to be the 50th entrant. Is that too much to ask?

I mean, I think everyone should be allowed to take PEDs, but that’s a marginal opinion and I know it.

But even if you accept that Caster Semenya is male, which I don’t, why make these rules apply to some events, and not others. And particularly not to those events when higher testosterone would give the GREATEST advantage. This ruling isn’t even internally consistent. It’s aimed at one woman because some people find…

** tap tap tap *** Is this thing on?

Right, totally. I feel like I misunderstood the question now. I thought it wasn’t “what’s the whitest sport?” but “What’s the opposite of football?” I think cricket might be the anti football?

Cricket?

Once I’d lost a bunch of knives, and it turns out they had slipped down the drain and were what was clogging my sink.

Do you have a PO Box if I wanted to ship you some forks?

Yeah, that is some ugly shit right there.

Also from the same side of the fence: Fucking Morrissey. Fuck me man.

Every time I turn around, he’s said something worse. He’s turned into my worst English relatives to the power of eight. I’ve set my line at “I’ll still listen to The Smiths, because Johnny Marr is cool, and Morrissey hates The Smiths now, but his…

If you spent the day with this pony, you succeeded at EVERYTHING. Way to live your best life.

Exactly this. 110% on the money.

I’m still excited to see him fight Tekashi69 though. I wouldn’t pay full cable PPV money to see that, but I’d definitely pay wrestling-style iPPV money.

I was that white guy for a couple years. But it was pretty much an all-Jamaican operation, so when there was information they didn’t want me to be privy to, they just moved into a deeper patois.

There is so much gold in that fourth paragraph, I can’t stop reading it.

I think he and Serch might be friends? But also I can’t be totally sure I didn’t make that up.

I certainly FEELS like it could be true.

As a Canadian, I am SO mad that he’s one of ours. FUCK.

“Ma, why are you playin’ me like this in front of my friends!?”

I think the Canadian ones prefer the term “poutinesapiens,”